Vintage Wrestling in Sanford, September 19th, 2009

[Blair Russell]

As always, this is my opinion and no one else's.

It’s a shame that some people have to be so petty.

I’ll explain in the body of the review just what I’m talking about, for those of you not there at the show.

(This part is written on Tuesday afternoon right before I posted this. I apologize for this being up so late but stuff happened the past few days and I wasn’t able to do this and other times I didn’t feel like doing this. My apologies.)

I wasn’t sure how attendance would be as besides there being a UFC show on this night (although it wasn’t really as star-studded and as of interest as their last few shows, I think) there’s also a big boxing PPV with the return of Floyd Mayweather to the ring against some guy I hadn’t heard of who had to go up in weight to face off against him and thus, as people (and I) had predicted, Floyd destroyed the guy in what I’m sure was a horrible thing to watch.

It has nothing to do with this sport being the all-time favorite of the likes of Mister Saint Laurent and his cohorts, but I’ve never understood the appeal of boxing at all. No offense to those of you *I like* who are reading this who love the sport and all, but to me it’s all a bunch of fighters COWARDLY hugging each other to stop the “action” whenever he’s doing badly. I mean, that’s what all boxing fights are to me. It’s not the homoerotic thing of guys hugging each other either. It’s the fact that clinching onto a guy instead of punching his way out of trouble and hundreds of times during a fight the referee has to break it up… in my eyes it’s awful shit and it’s just not for me, I’ve decided many years ago and I doubt my opinion will ever change. Not that MMA doesn’t have its boring moments at times, but compared to boxing… it’s no comparison, actually, IMO. Maybe it’s just me. I mean, I think I’m one of the few heterosexual males on this planet who doesn’t really find Megan Fox to be all that hot at all. Really. Normally I dig brunettes but not in this case. It’s not even due to the weird things she says-she actually sounds smart in some of the things she says and a few times she’s made me laugh-or the alleged stories of her bitchiness. I mean, she apparently had a shitty time in the public education system and man do I know what that’s like, but I just don’t think she’s hot. I usually just don’t care for her, though, as there are many more celebrities out there that I have scorn for rather than someone like her.

But anyhow… this event. Before the show I stopped for gas in the town of Sanford itself and I had an “issue” with my credit card. I think I know what triggered it and eventually it worked, but it was just an aggravation I didn’t need. Funnily enough, things improved when I went to a restaurant to have dinner and watch some college football. That place? Hooters! I went there for the food and the games!

To cut to the chase, this show’s attendance looked to be around 200 or so (the promotion said 236, for the record), which was better than what I expected, to be honest. The ring announcer here was Seth Nadreau. If you don’t recognize the name, he’s no Scotty Sweatervest, and I’ll explain why during this review. He did have to deal with a sound system that often cut out on him, so that was no buys.

We started a few minutes early with a pre-show match.

0. Josh Rayne defeated Bobby Fonta. This was fine, I suppose, but I can’t rate it higher as the crowd was deader for it then Michael Jackson… oh wait, that wasn’t right, I apologize. The main thing I remember is that armdrags and high flying were involved, and there was the expected comedy of dark dour emo Rayne against the happy dancing fool Fonta, and there were some spots involving that, such as Bobby getting Josh to dance against his will. Both were good guys so maybe that had something to do with it, but man were they dead. I felt bad as the wrestling was entertaining enough. Rayne ended up winning with a move I’ve seen him do before, where from a standing position he backflips and his head lands on the midsection of a prone opponent. This time I saw him won with that move.

1. Aaron Epic (w/ Lucky O’Shea) defeated Gus Money to retain the Vintage Wrestling Internet TV Title. This was a pretty good contest, with an interesting story behind it. I mean, remember now, that one 6 man ladder match in July to decide the first winner of this title, both men were in it and Gus got injured doing it and missed the last few minutes, so it was fair to give him a singles match here. I’m not sure what happened to Miss Betsy, but I know that Ms. O’Shea is a lady wrestler/manager who used to do her thing in California before moving to Florida earlier in the year. This is the first time I’ve seen her at ringside. She was fine here. She cheated and that’s how Epic got control after Gus dominated the opening minutes with his armdrags and armbars and whatnot. Epic wrestled more aggressively but Gus was able to make a comeback with a faster pace and some high flying, and he appeared to have the match won after a frog splash, but as referee Josh Rich started counting that pinfall, Lucky got on the apron so Josh-lonely man that he is, looking for companionship aside from his 57 cats-started talking to her about the weather or whatever, and as expected, Gus got off of Aaron and confronted the dame… and yep, that allowed Epic to get up and one move later, he won the match.

2. Frankie Capone (w/ Cannon) defeated Tommy Taylor. Capone was originally going to wrestle against Lord Neil Faith, but that didn’t happen for whatever reason. Tommy as a replacement British wrestler definitely isn’t shabby, let me say. I’ll say that this was pretty good, although I was surprised at how long it went. But, the crowd was into it so that’s something. Taylor was a cowardly heel to start off and he didn’t want to lock up with Frankie at first, which angered the crowd even more than they were before, when they hated him just because he came out with the Union Jack. Once they did lock up, Capone controlled it, until Taylor took over. He used a methodical pace and also used several submission attempts but Capone was able to fight out of it each time. He tried for his finisher once but didn’t land it, but was able to the second time for the win.

After the match, he got on the mic and thanked the audience for all of their support. He then stated at that their next show on October 24th, they are having a match known as the Florida Rumble* and because he wants to prove himself or whatever, he asked to start off number 1. I’m not sure why you would want to do something like that logically, but I guess it’s some sort of storyline…

• Yes, you heard it right. Besides the fact that it was a match SCW did at least once before (and when they first did it, people weren’t happy about it), the reason why people objected to the name is the fact that, hello, FIP started doing those Florida Rumbles starting in 2004, although they didn’t do one last year. Yeah, SCW totally lived in a bubble and they must have large huevos to do the match again this year.

3. Heartbreak Express defeated Eric Cooper-Simon Sez via DQ. This bout was just announced a day or two before the show and I was excited to hear it, as while I know I would enjoy all four guys interacting with each other, Simon vs. Sean on the mic… gold, solid gold. Cooper and Sez entered the ring first and Simon badmouthed ring announcer Seth… and Seth tried to act like a tough guy! Really. How about selling for Simon and backing off, you idiot? The wrestlers are the star of the show, not you. Anyway, Simon brought up the term “foreshadow” and then explained what he meant, as according to his opinion, most people in the crowd would not know what that word meant. He stated that Heartbreak used to be *the* tag team in Florida but that time had passed and now THEY were going to be the tag team in this state. Seth then announced the Express but added that they were “his favorite tag team”. Not only childish, but again trying to make yourself the star of the show when you’re just a ring announcer. Then again, given the past and seeing him act this way at other shows in a different role… and yeah I wish that he would know better than to behave in this manner.

Anyway, Sean got on the mic and kept it short and sweet. To paraphrase, he stated that Simon and Eric could talk the talk, but could they walk the walk? It started immediately from there. It was totally something out of the 1980’s, this bout was, and of course I consider that to be a good thing. Not that I can say this with certainty and I know it’ll make some people angry if I say something that may be factually inaccurate, but the heck with it… this may very well be the first time that Heartbreak and Frankie were on the same show and they were both fan favorites. There’s some trivia for you. The match itself was quite good and I enjoyed all of it, from Simon’s trademark salute before falling face first to the mat to Sean and especially Phil strutting around and acting like 80’s babyfaces. Speaking of Phil, he ended up being targeted and was in the ring for a few minutes as the heels drew Sean into the ring a few times, allowing for chicanery as the ref was tied up with him. Finally, after they were neutralized, Phil stumbled around for a moment before tagging in house of fire Sean. He ran wild for a bit and he had the match won when he did his trademark move for this year (which is when an opponent is on the mat, and Sean runs and sits on said opponent. Ouchie!) but a cane shot from Simon’s staff (er, I mean that he brings a cane to the ring. Don’t think vulgar there) brought upon a DQ. Heartbreak regained the advantage and Sean got on the mic, PO’ed, and demanded that at the next show, the two teams would face off against each other in a rematch, but this time all weapons would be legal. Simon and Eric did not like hearing that at all and they scurried to the back as Phil greeted a male fan standing by the barricade-I won’t mention the identity of this person as I’m sure he would rather not have it revealed-by kissing the fan on the cheek! I highly doubt that’s what the fan was expecting and I’m sure he’s hoping that there’s no photo or video evidence of this that ever will be released to the public.

4. Leon Scott defeated Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Yes, you read that right. Note that for this show, Leon came out to Kanye West’s “Stronger”. Topical, AND with what little hair Leon has now, it’s even styled the same dumb (no offense, Mr. Scott) way that Kanye’s crop circle-designed do. I’m not a fan of him OR his music but I think what he did at the VMA’s was a *complete* work. I mean, they did a work with Borat and Eminem earlier in the year! At least this time they’re smart enough not to let it out that it’s a work. Anyhow, Jake came out to his WWF entrance music. You know hearing that will make “WWE employee” MSL angry (scoffs at MSL saying he was once a WWE employee). As for the match, for what it was, it was good. The crowd hated Leon and loved Jake, who didn’t have a snake with him this time around. He wrestled better than the times I’ve seen him in the past. He moved well-enough and did stuff like armdrags and even a headlock takeover. It went how you think it would, until the ending. Jake went for a DDT but Leon held on to the ropes so he fell down and Scott covered him, but he was a cheater cheater pumpkin eater and had his feet on the ropes and referee Dan (of eKlipse fame, if there’s such a correlation between “eKlipse” and “fame”) didn’t see it. The Snake ended up getting his revenge by DDT’ing Leon after Scott disrespectfully slapped him across the face, so that made the audience happy.

Intermission time. It was around 20 minutes. It was the usual affair with people getting autographs and getting merchandise.

5. Nooie Lee defeated Mike Cruz. This was a quite good contest. The audience wasn’t really into it but I’m sure that’s because they weren’t too familiar with Cruz. It’s still a shame as this was oh so good. It was very fast-paced and they worked together very well. Sorry for not having too much details to state in this bout but it’s better seen than anything I could write about it, you know. I certainly remember the ending, though. Cruz did a powerbomb but he held on, lifted up Nooie to deliver another one and in one smooth motion he delivered his Code Red finisher, known as the Dragon Bomb, to get the win. Very impressive.

6. Bruce Santee defeated Biff Slater (i.e. Da Biff). This was another quite good contest but this was quite the contrast to the previous bout. Here, it was two large powerful guys testing each other’s strength, with chop battles, moves where they show off their strength, and what have you. I really enjoyed this battle. You got some impressive moments, such as when Bruce jumped off the middle rope and Biff caught him in a bearhug. Bruce won with a roaring forearm, of all things. Afterwards, both guys were friendly with each other and they raised each other’s hands and all that.

Chris Carson came out with two buffoons carrying the SCW banner. He didn’t have that midget bodyguard with him this time, and once again he had different entrance music! Seriously, what a joke. This time it was the Blue Monday cover by Orgy. I never realized that Carson was a New Order fan, but you learn something new every day. I can’t really tell you the contents of what Carson said, due to a very petty thing that happened. Carson mentioned me BY NAME and initially brought me up by saying he talked to me about something and I asked him a question, so he responded. Then, he brought me up again in a pejorative manner and then found me in the crowd and pointed me out! Sure, it wasn’t as bad as what Larry Z did at that SCW show back in ’06 but what a petty juvenile thing to do just because he didn’t like my review of the last Vintage event. Others said that what Carson did was allegedly “funny” and “hilarious”. Sorry, but no! It just made Carson look all butthurt over a simple FAN and his bit out there on this show was a complete waste.

7. Jesse Neal defeated Jason Hexx (w/ Carson and those SCW goofs). This was pretty good, I guess. The crowd was into it so there’s that. Hexx stalled early on and Neal ran wild for a bit but then Jason took over and wore down Jesse for a few minutes. Neal made the comeback and we got a TNA-esque ending. Referee Dan was flattened so he was out of action. Chicanery happened and Neal won after a spear and Sean Solo came out in a referee’s shirt and made the count. Afterwards we got a fustercluck with SCW security, Vintage security, various wrestlers fighting each other, and yeah it was TNA-esque. In a great moment, all the security was with the wrestlers while Carson and Solo did their catfighting with no security even noticing it.

8. Sam Shaw (w/ Robin Donahue) defeated Tomko to retain the Vintage Wrestling Heavyweight Title. This was pretty good. Shaw came out in a rather garish green pimp suit with dollar bills on it. It was quite the sight. Tomko controlled much of it as hey, he’s much larger than Shaw. The only two moments I remember was a scary moment and the ending. The former was Shaw having Tomko on the mat and he went for an elbowdrop but Tomko popped right up and delivered a powerslam. Well, it was mistimed and Tomko didn’t get up soon enough (or, Shaw was too fast to deliver that elbowdrop) and the powerslam went awry and it didn’t look pretty. I mean, I wondered if Shaw was injured but he appeared to be fine so that’s the most important thing. The ending made Josh Rich look stupid (insert your own jokes if you wish). Donahue got on the apron and he was talking to Josh. As Josh is a lonely man… Robin gave Shaw brass knuckles but Tomko got the pin anyway. What you thought would happen did happen. Josh sees the knucks on the mat and assumed that Tomko used them, so the match was restarted and immediately Shaw got the cheap win.

Overall, this 2 hour and 30 minute show was better than the last Vintage show, for certain, although there were still some dumb moments and this time around the SCW vs. Vintage feud didn’t seem to mean a lot here. Maybe it’s just me. The petty moment was a real turn-off and I wonder why I should return to Vintage in the future if I’m going to get disrespected like that, and in a rather lame way too. After the show, they had the official after-party at Off Sides, a nearby bar and restaurant, although when I was there it was more like a club/bar that had some tables. They played some LOUD music. I mean, it felt like I was back at Mako’s! I at least had a beer there and watched the college football. They weren’t showing either the boring boxing match (and I have to say also, what a corrupt and ineptly run sport this is) nor the UFC event, so it wasn’t crowded there at all. I then went home and experienced some drama until then. I’ll be back by Monday night the 28th-I hope-with the review of the WXW show.